Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize