then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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