Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
