Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
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Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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