yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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