I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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