I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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