Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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