Already got asked if we're dating
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I DEMAND FORESKIN
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
