Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize