whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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