i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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