loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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