do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize