I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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