Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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