Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
