let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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