Don't you send me to vm
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
