she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
