but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize