You made me cry and you don't even care
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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