You smell like a Billy Joel song
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
