Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize