I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
