smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
