it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize