I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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