I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
