I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
