shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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