My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize