Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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