I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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