Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
