Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Someone shit on the floor
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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