similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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