Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
