If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
