He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
