so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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