I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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