u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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