shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
