Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
