i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
send nudes
from the living room?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize