Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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