im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
