let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
