Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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