woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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