hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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