Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
