Sponge bath it is.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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