Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
