Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
