I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
