If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
